We the pack of the Carolina Trash Hash House Harriers, in Order to form a more epic kennel, establish shiggy trails, insure the flow of beer, provide for Hash Events, promote general debauchery, secure the Traditions of The Hash to ourselves and our virgins, do reject the drunken tyranny of the current Mismanagement, dethrone their shameful authority every year at Prom and “hold our erections” to coerce and hold accountable a New group of unfortunate Half-minds to do the various Jobs of Mismanagement, so that the rest of us don’t have to.
Every year, we vote for the nominees. The new mismanagement is announced at Prom (Saturday.) The final vote is held by PAST AND PRESENT TRASH MM WHO ARE PRESENT AT PROM AT TIME OF VOTE.
Those elected few will become Mismanagement for the next year.
These are the positions:
GM – The pack is led (or misled) by the Grand Master or Grand Mattress (aka GM), in line with the general tradition of minimum organization. However, this is a facade, as there is indeed much that has to be organized when it comes to reigning in weekly chaos and planning special events. A successful GM makes these chores seem transparent to the pack, but it is much work nevertheless. The GM calls periodic meetings and bails the hash out of trouble at times. Think this is too much responsibility? Think again. The real job of GM is to pry money out of Hash Cash, who keeps it tucked underneath his/her mattress guarded by a chained feral animal.
Hare Raiser – Trail itself is marked by different volunteer hares each hash. The Hare Raiser keeps track of upcoming hashes and gets ‘volunteers’ to hare based on experience, matching new hares with a more experienced (read: bibbed) one. Each hasher is expected to set a hash periodically. Trails should change geographical locations regularly to avoid overlapping (crossing) previous trails.
Ring Announcer / Religulous Advisor
The RA is the arbiter of hash tradition and master of ceremonies at the start circle and on-home. When in the circle, the RA is always right, even when wrong. Other than presiding over the circle, the RA is responsible to ensure that deserving thirsts are quenched; they are fully responsible for the weather and the taste of the beer. The RA also makes sure the virgins are adequately well-cummed.
Hash Cash – The individual who tracks hash funds is known as the Hash Cash. The Hash Cash collects the fees and provides reimbursement for the food or refreshments used at the hash. Hash Cash maintains trail records and is responsible for protecting the Hash’s Ass-ets and general accounting of the funds.
Haberdasher – Brings and sells shirts and other odd hash souvenirs (haberdashery) to the hash. The haberdasher is responsible for keeping an inventory of the haberdashery and selling as much as possible at the highest prices to the biggest suckers.
Beermeister – The most prestigious and honored of all Mismanagement, the Beermeister is responsible for what brings us all together — BEER! This job is not to be taken lightly, and requires the ability to keep the beer flowing while fending off auto-hashers wanting to hop in your sweet ride, week after week. Your work may at times seem thankless, but bask in the knowledge that without you and what you bring, there is no reason to hash.
THIS IS IMPORTANT SHIT SO READ CAREFULLY:
Submit your nomination below.
- ANYONE who claims Trash (bibbed or NOT bibbed) can nominate another member of the Trash.
- Incomplete, invalid, nonsensical, or sarcastic submissions will be disregarded, then we will block your IP address and shit on your soul (yes, we have your IP address and are tracking your eye movements as you read this.)
- You may nominate one wanker to more than one position.
- You may nominate more than one wanker as long as it is for different positions. If you nominate two wankers to the same position we will eliminate confusion by deleting your entry.
- You may nominate yourself (masturbator!) to one or more mismanagent positions.
- The wankers who receive three or more nominations for a position become candidates for that position on the final vote at Prom.